From Restaurant Names To Post Its: 40 Weird And Wacky Signs We Couldn’t Help But Mock

Signs are supposed to help you out and make things easier for you. For instance, a sign will direct you to the location you intend to go to, or it could also remind you not to hand-feed the bear at the zoo.

These are what we call normal signs. But there are some signs that raise questions instead of being helpful. You know, the ones you see and go, “Huh? What the heck?” Sometimes you even take a picture because no one is going to believe you without some hard photo evidence.

As it turns out, there’s an entire Facebook group dedicated to documenting these examples of so-called “Useful, Unsuccessful, and Unpopular Signage.” No need to go searching yourself, though; we’ve curated some of the highlights just for you. And so, without further ado…

Have a nice day

We don’t know about you, but this seems like a trap to us. “Forget all your responsibilities?” “Have an ice cream?” If you pay heed to this sign and end up in the back of a pickup truck with a black hood over your head, don’t say we didn’t warn you.

That being said, it also isn’t very inclusive. What about people with grass allergies, huh? Too sniffly to kidnap? If these guys wanted people to use the area like they’re ‘advertising,’ they shouldn’t have put up this sign because now it just makes our spidey senses tingle!

Chill out!

Man, if it’s too hot to change the sign, we can’t imagine what it must feel like to be packed into that tiny church elbow to elbow with your fellow servant of the Lord. Some might even say it’s…hot as hell in there.

Sin Bad. Jesus Good. What further details do you need, anyway? Seems pretty straightforward to us. We would really like to meet the person who made this. They sound like they would be so much fun to hang around, wouldn’t you agree?

The missing letter

Apparently, a storm passed through here and blew over this sign in juuuuust the right way. Hopefully, the owner will decide to keep it like this. After all, that’s probably what they said when they saw all the property damage from the storm.

In fact, we think this makes the home more interesting. Just think about it: if you saw “oh HELLO” written on the side of the house, you’d be a bit creeped out. But “oh HELL”—now that’s something everyone can relate to.

Evil stuff

This has to be one of the world’s most recognizable signs. The pentagram. Depending on how it’s drawn, it can either be an innocent 2D figure or a sign of evil. What makes this particular one even more interesting is where it’s drawn.

We get it, changing diapers is not exactly the easiest job in the world, but we doubt it merits such extreme harshness! We can’t help but wonder what kind of soiled diaper made someone make this sign. Must have been one wicked deuce!

Genuine art

We must admit that Daniel over here has some really artistic capabilities. A whole Lego block! You should certainly get a prize for that. And at the young age of 17? It’s unbelievable. We can’t wait for this prodigy’s MoMA debut.

Here’s the funny part. There’s got to be at least one pretentious phony who sees this and tries to defend it as some sort of nuanced critique on world capitalism and the death of youthful ignorance. Our suggestion? Put it on eBay and see how far “Worm” can go.

Save them

Now, THIS is a moral dilemma. On the one hand, we don’t have that kind of money. Times are tough, after all. But on the other hand, some things are more important than financial security, so we know what we must do.

It’s the 21st century. How is a mullet not considered a human rights violation under the law? Anyway, we have to commend whoever came up with this campaign for more tips. We’re sure it worked like a charm! Do your part today to prevent this cruelty; we beg you.

Aha!

Out of all the places in the world, this sign was found in the bathroom of an office building. This is what happens when company policy preaches “synergy” and conformity. Human creativity is going to find an outlet in one way or another.

We are sure everyone left the bathroom humming Take on Me by A-ha. How do we know, you ask? Because we’re singing it ourselves right now! It’s that catchy. Whoever thought this up should get a raise if you ask us.

Pining for a cone

If you’re a dad, you just chuckled at this picture. Don’t lie to us; we’re calling you out. For real, though, we don’t know why dad jokes get all the hate that they do. They can be funny. Totally, sometimes, maybe, depending on your mood…anyone?

We know someone must have tried to actually order ice cream in a pine cone after seeing it on display. What happens in that case? They better have them in stock because sometimes you just need a little texture with your double mint chip with sprinkles. Don’t knock it ’til you try it.

The perils of the grind

Look, we get it; work can get stressful, especially at a bar. During peak service hours, there is almost no time to think. All that stress has to go somewhere…and thus, the “crying shed” was born. Walk by and listen to the stifled sobs of someone pretending to flirt with drunk people for minimum wage.

In our uneducated opinion, a workplace where the employees regularly feel the need to cry is bad enough. Add alcohol, and, well, you’ve probably heard this story before. Maybe management should put less money into pinball machines and more into employee satisfaction.

Law-abiding citizen

Sure, we’ll obey your sign. Kids are filthy and snotty anyways. Yessir, we’ll follow it to the letter… mainly because it doesn’t say anything about adults. We don’t think the design of the box is a problem. Maybe the kids were sad, and Squishmallows were the cure.

We don’t blame them. The squishmallows look oh-so squishy and soft, and crawling in there sounds like the remedy for all our worries. The next time you pass by the MiraLax aisle (check the background), you’ll probably see us three feet deep in this pile of colorful cotton plushies!

Pretty descriptive

Phew! We were worried for a second there that we were eating actual chicken. Village Market doesn’t get enough credit; “sandwich with chicken” is a difficult flavor profile to nail with just basic ooze and chemicals, but they managed to pull it off.

Now, here’s our suggestion for preparation: toast and butter a nice brioche bun, pile on your favorite toppings, and stick this marvel of modern science in there. What you have before you is a “Sandwich That Tastes Like a Sandwich With Chicken Sandwich.” Now that’s a mouthful!

I wanna reach out and touch the flame…

In 1987, Irish rock band U2 released Joshua Tree, an album many fans consider to be the band’s best. The person who named this street must have been a huge U2 fan because, thanks to him, we can finally say we’ve found “Where the Streets Have No Name.”

Man, if only Bono could see this. We hope he’d laugh because this is hilarious. Can you imagine filling out a form at the bank and writing “No Name St” as your address? Chances are you’d get a few awkward looks before you explained that that’s the street’s actual name for the nth time.

Jeepers creepers

We seriously don’t know what’s wrong with the person who put this sign up. There’s no way this was done out of genuine concern for the paint job; no, this guy is one to keep several feet away from, at least.

Also, do the rules apply to this man (he’s definitely a man) as well? If he doesn’t ‘lead’ by example and fully strip down before entering the car, then all bets are off. What’s the point of making rules if you can’t live by them in the first place?

Thank you for the information

If this is the sign in front of the store, we can’t imagine what kind of chaos exists in the actual work culture. Funny enough, the only other establishments that have hours as temperamental as this business are government offices.

Here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to go in, pick out an object, go to the cashier, check the price, and then say that we changed our minds and want to pay another price. Maybe they’ll get the message, but probably not.

Mind-boggling

As much as we appreciate this artist’s attempt to revive the Dada movement, it’s 2022, and we need to conserve paper for things that are more useful than a weird photo of a Turkey Dave Grohl. A suggestion: spray paint is not only more environmentally friendly but also more permanent.

This person is stuck in the “OMG, so random” MySpace days. This is that person in your school who would go around spewing the most unfunny stuff but would have an ironclad conviction that they were destined to be the next George Carlin or Dave Chappelle. Was it worth the Reddit karma, dude?

Anti-Song Requests

There are certain songs that only a chosen few have the right to cover: The Thrill Is Gone by BB King, Voodo Child by Jimi Hendrix, you get the idea. But then there are those that no one is allowed to cover because they are too easy.

Along with the obligatory Wonderwall and most of Green Day’s songs, Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison fits squarely into this category. No, we don’t want to hear yet another drunk rendition of the song but thank you for volunteering!

Your best (and only) memory

It’s good they put this sign here because otherwise, it’s unlikely that most people would remember too much of their time in Vegas. Also, while they’re there, most people make sure to get pictures of the many landmarks, for example, the “Welcome To Fabulous Las Vegas” sign.

Las Vegas is the only place in the world where you’d see a sign for a sign. It’s also the only place in the world built specifically for the purpose of making you feel pumped up about losing all your money and morals. But hey, you’re guaranteed a great time!

On the border

Signs like these are a test for people who never read the instructions all the way through in school before starting the assignment. In an ironic turn of events, those people would probably have a BETTER opinion of this restaurant.

Sometimes you just crave spicy, delicious Mexican food. Also, we understand that often, creative marketing can be just the thing a business needs to go to the next level, but this is something we never thought we’d ever see. We just hope they’re, indeed, the best on the planet!

Peeping Tom

No, no, no; this isn’t how you do business. First of all, what’s the point of installing cameras in the bathroom if you don’t want to catch people misbehaving? If you’re going to be a little weirdo, at least do it correctly. We’d respect that more.

Jokes aside, we’re not entirely sure that installing cameras in bathrooms is legal. That’s a place people go for privacy, and we all know everyone has a right to privacy. If we ever spotted a camera in a public bathroom, that would definitely be the last time you’d ever see us at that establishment.

Spelling misteighkes

Restaurant owners are outdoing themselves. Here is how we know this one is owned by a pretentious person. You know those over-the-top parents who can’t bare the thought of their children being average, so they give them weird unheard-of names like “Keighleigh” or “Kell-C?”

Well, read the sign. We rest our case (or rather, caighse). But let’s pretend that Italeigh is an authentic Italian spelling for a sec. Only in America would a cheesesteak, which is quintessential Philidelphia fare, by the way, be considered Italian.

We’re with stupid

Man, there are so many possibilities for this sticker. Yeah, you could use it for student drivers, but this is basically a “clear the road” sign. Slap this on your vehicle, and no one is going to think about tailgating you ever again.

Something tells us this sign only makes things worse for this person on the road. We don’t know about you, but this driving behind this car would just make us feel like we needed to prove a point. What would you do if you spotted this car ahead?

We’ve got something to say

As kids, we once had the privilege of coming across a freshly-laid panel of the sidewalk. We could draw or write anything, and it would be preserved for decades or more. So many possibilities! But what did we choose to draw? A smiley face.

At least this person showed some actual conviction with their concrete scribbles. It seems that kids simply don’t understand the gravity of the opportunities before them. Oh well, maybe it’s profound for whoever wrote it. Everyone at their own pace.

Uh, 9-1-1?

Yeah, this is a self-report. You really think we’re going to let this “Hannibal Lector” wannabe do his spinal decompression hooey on us? Nuh-uh. If you make an appointment here, chances are your screaming will be much more than just metaphorical.

You know who doesn’t have a repurposed McDonald’s billboard outside their building? An actual doctor. Your body might not literally whisper, but a physical exam can still say a lot. If you think something is wrong, maybe go see someone whose clinic sign doesn’t make you cringe.

Oh, stop it, you!

“My, you have such a way with words! At least wine and dine us first next time before getting all frisky. Grrrrr.”…you know you can stop reading whenever you want, right? What? You LIKED it? Well, all right then; whatever you’re into is your business, not ours.

It seems like it’s impossible to arrange these phrases in a way that doesn’t end up sounding like someone having a stroke. It’s all wrong and doesn’t make sense, no matter how hard you try. But at least the cake looks tasty!

Minty fresh

What a generous business. These guys are offering free toothbrushes to their patients before treatment. We bet the toothpaste is a proprietary blend, in fact. Made in-house! What a treat this is! Now we can brush our teeth again as we had planned.

Honestly, we don’t know how he does it. Dentistry is a time-consuming profession, and even with a full team, it must be a pretty big challenge to find the endurance to impregnate all those toothbrushes. We’ll have to ask for pointers after the teeth cleaning.

Nothing wike a good fwostee

Everyone who knows us knows that our favorite fruit is stwabewwee, so when we saw this picture, we screamed like little girls. These guys sure know how to bring the heat when it comes to road trip staples. Takes us back to our childhood.

Well, there are fantastic out-of-the-box advertising ideas, and then there are disasters like this one. Babytalk is only ever cute on babies. It never works on anyone over six years old, and it certainly never works on signs! Whoever did this deserves some kind of punishment.

GILF material

Dang, we’d take this version of sunscreen over any other one any day of the week. Ollie knows how to work them curves, and honestly, who can resist that bashful face? He definitely knows he’s got it, and we very much admire the confidence.

This one definitely falls in the “hilarious ads” pile. Somehow, it found the perfect balance between being funny and cringe; for that, we are eternally grateful. You’ve heard of MILFs, you’re acquainted with DILFs—friends, let us introduce you to the GILF!

Marking your territory

If you need to keep people away from your box of chocolates at the workplace, take notes because this is exactly how it’s done…as long as the people in your workplace are cowards. If they are brave and shameless with their shenanigans, we sympathize with you.

This will certainly deter anyone who’s not serious about other people’s food. However, you can also try placing one or two chocolate-covered crickets on two pieces at the top. Don’t give a warning. We guarantee that next time, the chocolate thief will be a bit more reluctant to mess with the likes of you.

Horror story

Legends tell of a mysterious beast that roams these woods, terrorizing reasonably affluent nuclear families on the way to scenic mountain getaways. There are few survivors, but those who manage to cling to their lives describe something akin to a large sheep. However, this is no ordinary sheep…

…it has three horns. Beware, fair traveler, for this beast is unlike any other you have ever seen. At first, you may not immediately notice the strange thing with this simple sign on the road, but when you do, you can’t unsee it!

Motivation

Here’s the thing. Had the words on this poster been arranged with the slightest bit of planning, this would have been the faux-motivational masterpiece of every school principal’s dreams. Instead, we have a pretty poster with incoherent statements that sound insane every time you say them out loud.

Mirror on the there Mirror Wall is a Leader in Us All…now that’s some deep stuff. Obviously, the person who made this was a fan of William Faulkner. It’s the only way to explain why they didn’t foresee this problem.

Monopoly money

Comrades, at long last, we’ve found it. This is the evidence we needed. The jig is up, corporate overlords—we know it’s all a ruse. Your “lines of credit,” your talk of “mortgages,” “loans,” and “interest rates”—it’s all nothing more than monopoly money! Enough with the lies!

Well, we can dream. We wonder if whoever took a photo of this puzzling sign actually withdrew money from this ATM. We would be very wary of the money from a machine like this. If the bank has the guts to put “cash” in quotes, how sure are you that it’s real money? No thanks.

Intriguing service

Wow, this church seems to be tackling the complexities of patriarchy, feminism, and equality in its own way. On a different note, signs like these that are usually outside churches sometimes have the most hilariously absurd statements. Next time you come across one, take the time to read it.

You just may find something that would qualify as an entry on a listicle like this one. Back to our sign, it is certainly helpful that these guys included the invitation to their Sunday services, in case you are curious.

The best kind of appetizer

Now, this has to be among the most hilarious ones we have come across. The French have a way of making everything sound sophisticated and sexy, but sometimes, the words can be a little hard to pronounce for non-native speakers.

What a way to start a dinner party, although you best make sure this is the kind of message you want to send when you bring this puppy out! Charcuterie is a hard word to get right, so we commend whoever came up with this because we can totally relate!

Of formerly innocent words

There is a lot of innuendo on this list, isn’t there? We have exhausted nearly every joke we had in the tank at this point. But that Push Pop in the bottom left obviously hasn’t been out much because he obviously likes what he sees!

The word ‘squirt’ was once upon a time, an innocent word that laid low and didn’t get out much. That’s until it hit it big on mainstream media, and now it can’t even appear on a sanitizer without causing a fuss! The note is quite funny, though.

Puzzled

We have taken a good look at this sign about ten times now, but we can’t for the life of us figure out what is being communicated. Here’s our guess: it’s a portable prosthetics installation booth for people who want to get a leg up in life.

Or maybe: It’s an advertisement to be one of those people who are “sawed in half” by a magician during magic shows. If that is it, we have to admit we are a bit tempted to apply. But then, we’re not entirely sure. What are your two cents on this sign?

Negative, my G

We appreciate the time and care that went into making this sign, but this was a wasted effort, bro. So detailed, but for what? No one believed the ice cream machine would be working because it never is. That’s, like, the first rule of McDonald’s; never ask for ice cream.

What’s the second rule of McDonald’s? If someone in a McDonald’s parking lot at 3 am offers to buy you a Big Mac in exchange for one teensy favor, don’t accept unless you’re extremely desperate. Actually, maybe not even then.

The almighty watermelon

Did you know that watermelon is 92% water? A cup of watermelon only has 40 calories, which makes it the perfect fruit to eat on a diet when you’re craving something sweet. Many people also probably don’t know that they grow on a vine.

Apparently, the word “watermelon” first appeared in the English dictionary in 1615. What a genius that dude must have been. And here’s our last watermelon fact. If you bring a whole watermelon to work and store it in the fridge, you’re going to piss off your coworkers and maybe get an angry sign like this!

True love

This one’s easy to explain. This restaurant is run by a married couple who has been together for many decades. At that point, fights are merely an expression of love because nothing says “I love you” like knowing exactly how to set your significant other off (and not in a fun way).

This time, the customer gets to join in on the feud (how kinky!). If you guess which sign is correct, your next meal is free! Of course, there is no right answer, and everyone loses because the only good thing in life is food, and now no one gets to eat.

Be kind

That’s right; our employees definitely choose to get up every day and come to work for starvation wages. They definitely wouldn’t rather be doing anything else right now. Wow, peep one of the weirdest signs we have seen so far.

It says a lot when people feel the need to put up signs for customers to be kind. Honestly, it makes us a little sad. We wonder if the sign worked or if management just put it up to ‘appease’ a staff grievance. Anyway, as it says, be kind. It costs you nothing.

That’s it

Well, this tells you everything you need to know about how Michael’s is holding up these days. You’d think a certain, uh, period of time where no one could go outside would have gutted their sales, and honestly, it looks like it did, so they had to cut costs somewhere.

Oh well, it’s okay; we know how it feels when someone’s expectation of you does not match reality. It is a hard pill to swallow (not a large one, though), but you get over it in time. Stay strong, king.